I have a Master’s degree from a foreign university. I also got a scholarship from that country to study there; that country is technically in revolt; and I have a foreign, off shore bank account and an alias. These are all the reasons I probably have my own satellite by now…It is totally legit…Trust me.

As I was finishing my Master’s degree, I was wandering through all those hoops of red tape that no one tells you about in a program such as this like: practically re-write your thesis; put this thesis on a CD for the library; why did you want to write your thesis in English again; and why do you want your English name on your deploma? (Because its my name…the real one).

With all of this sorted out including a bizarre set of circumstances that required me to graduate a month late for tax reasons, I was awarded my diplomas.

That’s right, diplomas.

One of the diplomas is in Chinese while the other is in English. Fortunately, there is an English one so I shouldn’t have to worry too much about finding someone to translate/ratify my diploma if I apply for jobs. Unfortunately, the translation is such that no one would believe it is real.

The diploma says: Ryan Geredclay (come from America) Master of Science.

If the fact that I am “come from America” doesn’t tell you enough, the diploma doesn’t actually specify which discipline of science I have a Master’s in—from an internationally accredited university no less (Natural Resources).

Thus, I suppose, I am a master of all science. YES!